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The Official Website of Paul De Lancey and His Lords of Fun

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    Lettuce grew as a weed long before anyone ate it.

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    The world today remains in a state of precarious peace, based on equal access to chocolate for all nations.

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    While I deplore Napoleon’s twenty years of nearly continuous warfare, I do applaud how he revolutionized humanity’s view of the healing properties of citrus.

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    Napoleon’s energized armies racked up victory after victory until his enemies starting carrying chocolate as well. Defeat for the French became certain when chocolate rich Switzerland defected from the Gallic side.

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    I have yet to see a cookbook or recipe that calls for gaseous cheese. Imagine being able to breathe cheese. Warning! Cheese air is really hot.

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    "Vote Bocino y Chocolate para una Mañana sabrosa."

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  • 06/17/13--08:47: Hawaij, Spice Mix from Yemen
  • According to Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, cardamom is “the spice of Paradise.” It’s not clear how he knew that. Perhaps he had an Ouija board.

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    The only movie made in Esperanto is Incubus. It starred William Shatner.

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  • 07/08/13--21:20: Sunshine Milkshake
  • It’s an interesting legal question. May a fish working for the federal government be eaten?

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  • 09/04/13--08:08: Pico de Gallo
  • Guatemala has suffered through many years of civil wars. Peasants would often take to the hills to avoid the guerrillas and the government forces. The villagers’ main source of sustenance was the humble tortilla. However, old tortillas dry out and become hard to eat. So the peasants would fry their tortillas in oil to make tortilla chips which lasted longer.

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  • 12/22/13--09:24: Potato Ham Soup
  • In 1536, the Spanish conquered the Incan Empire for its potatoes and gold.

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  • 02/26/14--09:14: Pretzels
  • Pretzels were invented by Christian monks around the start of the seventeenth century. They were given to children for learning their devotions and resembled arms crossing the chest in prayer.

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  • 03/27/14--07:31: Almond Pork Stir Fry
  • In 1764, Spain worried about Russian encroachment on the west coast of America planted almond trees along El Camino Real (The Royal Road) from San Diego to San Francisco. These trees did not significantly deter the Russian military which was generally equipped with ships, horses, cannon, and muskets.

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  • 04/30/14--20:32: Paella
  • 8) In Barcelona, on St George’s Day , 23 April, sweethearts take a break from going to bullfights and exchange books and roses with each other instead.

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  • 05/15/14--14:02: Peanut Sauce (pinda saus)
  • The Netherlands supplies 70% of the world’s bacon. Yay!

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    Gerona, Spain's has a dating agency for pets. Happy Animals caters to lovelorn dogs, cats and birds. The mind boggles.

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    The ancient Mayans threw their shucos on the ground, ate them, and grew strong. And these strong men formed strong armies and these strong armies conquered lands as far as the eye could see. King Bongo had really good eyesight and liked to stand atop his tall pyraminds, so they conquered lots of really far away lands.

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  • 05/19/15--14:05: Honduran Nacatamales
  • In 1694, the Honduran governor sent 1,600 nacatamales with the nacatamale fleet. Unfortunately, First Mate Pedro Migas placed the nacatamales in the same room where he dried the rew’s socks. When half of the socks fled to a parallel dimension–a journey they continue to this day–they took all the socks with them. By the way, culinary quantum physicists say trans-dimensional aliens took a great liking to nacatamales and can often be found at nacatamale stand through out Central America. You have to look closely for them; their disguises are excellent.

    pauldelanceyNacatamales-4novelspauldelanceyNacatamales-4novels

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  • 12/23/15--11:24: Swedish Saffransbröd
  • Swedish Dessert SAFFRANSBRÖD INGREDIENTS 2¼ teaspoons yeast ⅓ cup warm water 1 cup milk ½ cup butter ¼ teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon sugar (½ cup more later) ½ teaspoon (1 gram) saffron threads ⅓ cup raisins ½ cup sugar 2 eggs (1 more egg later) 4 cups flour (2 more tablespoons later) 2 tablespoons flour […]

    pauldelanceySaffranBrod-LutheranCookbookpauldelanceySaffranBrod-LutheranCookbook

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  • 03/26/16--10:13: Tucuman Empanadas
  • Mayan sundaes are delicious. You must have excellent whipping cream to make a wonderful sundae. Most people put cow milk in a bowl to make whipping cream. The olden-day Mayans lifted cows onto their shoulders and hopped from one foot to another until whipped cream came out the cows’ udders.

    pauldelanceyEmpanada-LutheranCookbookpauldelanceyEmpanada-LutheranCookbook

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